Shit Confucius Says （孔子曰）

(If you don't know what this title is a reference to, drop everything and watch this video immediately.)

 Confucius, 551 or 552 - 479 BCE

So Confucius said a lot of shit. Most of the shit you've heard that he said probably has to do with respecting you elders and superiors. But that's not all; Confucius had a lot of shit to say on a variety of topics, from friendship to poetry to knowledge itself. He was prolific, to say the least. (Although he didn't actually write any of it down himself; the Confucian Classics were written by his disciples.)

A lot of the shit Confucius said became incredibly popular in China... after his death. Confucianism (also called Confucian Daoism) was relatively well thought of during the Han Dynasty (a few hundred years after his death), but the Confucianism that we know and love didn't become a big deal until around the 9th century CE (about a millennium after Confucius). In fact, although Confucius preached that any worthy scholar (shi / 士) such as himself would magically be discovered and hired by a benevolent and righteous ruler, he was chronically unemployed himself. Oh, the irony.

"Why is wasn't Confucius popular until almost 1,000 years later?" you may ask. Well, I don't really have the answer for you -- I'm just a college student. But, if anyone reading this does have some idea as to why this is the case, please feel free to share your wisdom in the comments section below.

And now, let's take a look at some of the shit Confucius said back in the day, and ponder why he never made it himself.

子曰

Confucius Says

1. 學而時習之，不亦說乎？有朋自遠方來，不亦樂乎？

To study and sometimes review it [what one has studied], is that not a delight? When friends come to visit from afar, is that not a delight?

(Rhetorical: They are both delights)

OP: To study is sometimes a delight; to sometimes review is not.

2. 溫故而知新，可以為師矣。

[One who] reviews the old and thus learns the new, [this person] can be considered a teacher.

OP: ...ish. I'm pretty sure that you do actually have to teach to be considered a teacher. Maybe he means an academic?

3. 知之為知之，不知為不知，是知也。

To consider [what one] knows as known, and to consider [what one] does not know as unknown; this is wisdom.

OP: Is it though? What does this even mean?

4. 學而不思則罔，思而不學則殆。

OP: This one seems to have two possible interpretations, based on the variable definitions of 罔 and 殆. Which one is more fitting? Or did he mean both? You decide! (and comment below)

A: If [one] studies but does not ponder [what one has studied], then [one will be] deceived ; if [one] ponders but does not study, then [one will be] in peril.

B: If [one] studies but does not ponder [what one has studied], then [one is] dangerous ; if [one] ponders but does not study, then [one is] indolent.

5. 無友不如己者。

Do not make friends with those who are lesser [in status] than oneself.

OP: OK then. *cough*asshole*cough*

6. 是寫詩者，其知道乎？

The one who wrote this poem, does [he] know the Dao or what?

(Rhetorical: He really knows the Dao)

OP: I have as much love for this quote as Confucius had for the Dao.

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These are just a few of the many gems Confucius left for us to think upon. His writing does have a coherence, but these bits are much funnier out of context. If you want to learn a little bit more about Confucius, you can read about his philosophy and various nicknames here.  And, if you're interested in his influence on modern China, I highly recommend this article. 

But, in all honesty (不瞞你說), there are better philosophers from this period than Confucius or his disciples. Check out some of the unsung heroes of Ancient China, like Mozi (墨子). Or, try some of the older philosophers that inspired Confucius, such as Laozi (老子) and Zhuangzi （莊子／庄子).

That's all for today, folks. Next week: the adventure begins.